(by alok nandan, dedicated to a Nightingale)
9 September
9 September
The lady Chatterly's lover came to me with her story. He was with her yesterday night, drinking and talking. She was very happy to read my notes. She opened her heart before him. She told him that her husband was a very good man. Before marriage she was continuously sleeping with men as she was living in a hostel and was enjoying hostel's life. But after marriage she decided to stay with her husband honestly. She became the mother of a boy-child. Life was going well. One day one of her husband's friends came to stay with them for a week. She fell in love with him. She was copulating with him in her bed room and her husband came all of sudden. Since then her life turned into hell. Her husband would sit in his armchair and smoke cigrets continuously, staring the ceiling. She was very sorry for him. One day he went away without any words. But he was sending money continuously for her and the boy. She is very sad, and I can feel her sadness, although I have not seen her. I just remember the words of Shakespeare ''Frailty, thy name is woman! It is an act of frailty? I think over it again and again, but get no satisfactory answer. But one thing is very clear to me that she is a sad woman, after committing this act. Why she is suffering? She has enjoyed her best time with another man, now she is suffering! Why? Why?? Why??? Her sexual pleasure has converted into suffering ? She has lost her husband, and all her happiness. What is happiness? How an act of pleasure converts into suffering? Is there any co-relation between happiness and suffering? An act of pleasure suddenly converts into suffering! Oh I am loosing my ability to think over it. Lady chatterly is sad now, and I am too. She is my unseen love, I realize it from the bottom of my heart. I cannot take her pain but al least I can try my best to get a perfect answer regarding her suffering.
10 September
Lord Krishna says, ''Whatever thou doest, whatever thou eatest, whatever thou offerest, whatever thou givest away, whatever activities thou practisest – do that as an offering to me.''
Whatever My lady Cahtterly pracitsest was not the offering to God? If we believer in fatalistic ideas, it was the God's will. Then why she is suffering? why?
Marx and Engle believe in a word where no woman is forced to surrender before any man without her will. Is My Lady Chatterly wrong according to this philosophy. No, not at all. Then why she is suffering?
Manu says, ''He who sacrifices to the 'self', equally recognizing self, in all created beings and all created beings in the self, becomes like an autocrat and self–luminous.''
Can this words of Manu heel my lady Chatteryly?
11 September
Lord Krishna says, ''Whatever thou doest, whatever thou eatest, whatever thou offerest, whatever thou givest away, whatever activities thou practisest – do that as an offering to me.''
Whatever My lady Cahtterly pracitsest was not the offering to God? If we believer in fatalistic ideas, it was the God's will. Then why she is suffering? why?
Marx and Engle believe in a word where no woman is forced to surrender before any man without her will. Is My Lady Chatterly wrong according to this philosophy. No, not at all. Then why she is suffering?
Manu says, ''He who sacrifices to the 'self', equally recognizing self, in all created beings and all created beings in the self, becomes like an autocrat and self–luminous.''
Can this words of Manu heel my lady Chatteryly?
11 September
I was sitting in a library when the Muslim girl came to me. She was looking very happy, while I was collecting some good words from different books for my lady Cahtterly. I wanted to provide a new note regarding love, hate, frailty, sacrifice, suffering etc. She sat besides me and asked, ''What are you doing?'' I told her the whole story about the lady Chatterly. She listened me patiently and said, ''You always think deep, and it is not good for a young man. I have a good book for you. Just see it.'' She gave me ''Nothing lasts forever'' by Sidney Sheldon.'' It is a good book and I think you will enjoy it. You just read the page number 86.'' She opened the page number 86. ''Let me read it for you. There is a character in this book named Honey. First time having copulated with Merton in his car accidentally, she realized the wonderful experience of a man power. Do you know what she did latter? ''
''How can I know? '' I said.
''Let me read for you,'' she said and started reading the second paragraph of the page number 86, these sentences were marked by a red marker, in an exciting tone, ''She raced through the pages of The Perfumed Garden, and the Kama Sutra, the Tibetan Arts of love, The Alchemy of Esctasy, and then went back for more. She read the words of Gedun Chopel and arcane and accounts of kanchinatha.''
For a little while looked to me, and went ahead with the second paragraph, ''Honey became an expert of the eight types of oral sex, and the paths of the sixteen pleasures, and the ecstasy of the string of marbles. She knew how to teach a man to perform karuna, to intensify his pleasure.'' In a sinking voice she read the last sentence, ''In theory, at least.''
''You are an interesting girl. But may I know why are you reading these sentences for me. '' I asked.
''I want to know about Perfumed Garden, the Kama Sutra, the Tibetan Arts of love, The Alchemy of Esctasy, the words of Gedun Chopel and arcane and accounts of kanchinatha.
''You want to do practical ?''
''No, no.I will die, my father will kill me. I want to know the theory, at least.''
''Then search the library. I have Kama Sutra, I will give you. Have you read the Tantrik Sex? ''
''Oh,yes, it is a wonderful book. Thank you very much for the book. Frankly speaking I feel a strong desire to act according the book.
''You want my help? ''
''You go to hell, Never try to cross your limits. ''
''What is my limits?''
''I do not know,'' She told and went away, leaving the book ''Nothing lasts forever'' by Sidney Sheldon. I saw the title of the book again and again – ''Nothing lasts forever.'' I felt the pain of my Lady Chatterly would also go away as ''Nothing lasts forever.''
12 September
Stone walls do not a prison make
Nor iron bars a cage:
Minds innocent and quiet take
That for a hermitage.
If I have freedom in my love,
And in my soul am free,
Angels alone that soar above
Enjoy each liberty.
---- R. Lovelace
O Liberty! What crimes have been committed in thy name ?
------ Mme. Roland.
Not gold, but only men can make
A people great and strong---
Men who, for truth and honor's sake,
Stand fast and suffer long.
Brave men who work while others sleep,
They build a nation's pillars deep,
And lift them to the sky.
-- R.W. Emerson
They are slaves who fear to speak
For the Fallen and the weak;
They are slave who will not choose
Hatred, scoffing, and abuse,
Rather than in silence shrink
From the truth they need must think;
They are slaves who dare not be
In the right with two or three.
-- J.R. Lowell
We cannot all be heroes,
And thrill a hemisphere
With some great and daring venture,
Some deed that mocks at fear;
But we can fill a lifetime
With kindly acts and true.
There's always nobles service
For noble soul to do.
- Charles Mackay
I am sinking deep with the words of great poets and trying my level best to understand the cause of her suffering. I am reading poetry fanatically.
13 September
Higher, higher will we climb
Up to the mountain of glory
That our names may live through time
In our country's story;
Happy, when her welfare calls,
He who conquers, he who falls.
Deeper, deeper let us toil
In the mines of the knowledge;
Nature's wealth and learning's spoil
Win from school and college;
Delve we there for richer gems
Than the stars of diadems.
Onwards, onwards may we press
Through the path of duty.
Virtue is true happiness,
Excellence true beauty.
Minds are celestial birth,
Makes we then a heaven of earth.
--James Montgomery
Virtue is true happiness! What is virtue? What is happiness? My lady Chatterly was happy when she was copulating with a young man. Now she is an unhappy woman due to virtue. So how it can be said that Virtue is true happiness. Virtue is man-made, imposed, while happiness is related with instincts. I want to throw all the virtue into Arabian Sea in order to make her happy. I think, to me, instinct is everything. The virtue is related with religion, it is guided by religion and religious format while instinct is related with nature. It is virtue that has made Lady Chatterly unhappy. Virtue has made mankind sorrowful. Shakespeare is a dolt when he says ''Frailty, thy name is woman! I would like to say, ''Woman! Nothing is like you'' I am thinking to meet Lady Chatterly. But I do not know how.
Note : I am constantly struggle hard to read out more and more pages of the diary. Wait for more.
''How can I know? '' I said.
''Let me read for you,'' she said and started reading the second paragraph of the page number 86, these sentences were marked by a red marker, in an exciting tone, ''She raced through the pages of The Perfumed Garden, and the Kama Sutra, the Tibetan Arts of love, The Alchemy of Esctasy, and then went back for more. She read the words of Gedun Chopel and arcane and accounts of kanchinatha.''
For a little while looked to me, and went ahead with the second paragraph, ''Honey became an expert of the eight types of oral sex, and the paths of the sixteen pleasures, and the ecstasy of the string of marbles. She knew how to teach a man to perform karuna, to intensify his pleasure.'' In a sinking voice she read the last sentence, ''In theory, at least.''
''You are an interesting girl. But may I know why are you reading these sentences for me. '' I asked.
''I want to know about Perfumed Garden, the Kama Sutra, the Tibetan Arts of love, The Alchemy of Esctasy, the words of Gedun Chopel and arcane and accounts of kanchinatha.
''You want to do practical ?''
''No, no.I will die, my father will kill me. I want to know the theory, at least.''
''Then search the library. I have Kama Sutra, I will give you. Have you read the Tantrik Sex? ''
''Oh,yes, it is a wonderful book. Thank you very much for the book. Frankly speaking I feel a strong desire to act according the book.
''You want my help? ''
''You go to hell, Never try to cross your limits. ''
''What is my limits?''
''I do not know,'' She told and went away, leaving the book ''Nothing lasts forever'' by Sidney Sheldon. I saw the title of the book again and again – ''Nothing lasts forever.'' I felt the pain of my Lady Chatterly would also go away as ''Nothing lasts forever.''
12 September
Stone walls do not a prison make
Nor iron bars a cage:
Minds innocent and quiet take
That for a hermitage.
If I have freedom in my love,
And in my soul am free,
Angels alone that soar above
Enjoy each liberty.
---- R. Lovelace
O Liberty! What crimes have been committed in thy name ?
------ Mme. Roland.
Not gold, but only men can make
A people great and strong---
Men who, for truth and honor's sake,
Stand fast and suffer long.
Brave men who work while others sleep,
They build a nation's pillars deep,
And lift them to the sky.
-- R.W. Emerson
They are slaves who fear to speak
For the Fallen and the weak;
They are slave who will not choose
Hatred, scoffing, and abuse,
Rather than in silence shrink
From the truth they need must think;
They are slaves who dare not be
In the right with two or three.
-- J.R. Lowell
We cannot all be heroes,
And thrill a hemisphere
With some great and daring venture,
Some deed that mocks at fear;
But we can fill a lifetime
With kindly acts and true.
There's always nobles service
For noble soul to do.
- Charles Mackay
I am sinking deep with the words of great poets and trying my level best to understand the cause of her suffering. I am reading poetry fanatically.
13 September
Higher, higher will we climb
Up to the mountain of glory
That our names may live through time
In our country's story;
Happy, when her welfare calls,
He who conquers, he who falls.
Deeper, deeper let us toil
In the mines of the knowledge;
Nature's wealth and learning's spoil
Win from school and college;
Delve we there for richer gems
Than the stars of diadems.
Onwards, onwards may we press
Through the path of duty.
Virtue is true happiness,
Excellence true beauty.
Minds are celestial birth,
Makes we then a heaven of earth.
--James Montgomery
Virtue is true happiness! What is virtue? What is happiness? My lady Chatterly was happy when she was copulating with a young man. Now she is an unhappy woman due to virtue. So how it can be said that Virtue is true happiness. Virtue is man-made, imposed, while happiness is related with instincts. I want to throw all the virtue into Arabian Sea in order to make her happy. I think, to me, instinct is everything. The virtue is related with religion, it is guided by religion and religious format while instinct is related with nature. It is virtue that has made Lady Chatterly unhappy. Virtue has made mankind sorrowful. Shakespeare is a dolt when he says ''Frailty, thy name is woman! I would like to say, ''Woman! Nothing is like you'' I am thinking to meet Lady Chatterly. But I do not know how.
Note : I am constantly struggle hard to read out more and more pages of the diary. Wait for more.
4 comments:
Alok,
I like the path that this one took. I don't think women are any more frail then men. Perhaps we all have our moments of strength and weakness. The Perfumed Garden sounds like a delighful read. I'd like to read your list of books...wow...
I also enjoyed your collection of poetry. Here are a few more thoughts that might belong to your theme.
Lara
“The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom...for we never know what is enough until we know what is more than enough.”
William Blake
“We all know, from what we experience with and within ourselves, that our conscious acts spring from our desires and our fears. Intuition tells us that that is true also of our fellows and of the higher animals. We all try to escape pain and death, while we seek what is pleasant. We are all ruled in what we do by impulses; and these impulses are so organised that our actions in general serve for our self preservation and that of the race. Hunger, love, pain, fear are some of those inner forces which rule the individual's instinct for self preservation. At the same time, as social beings, we are moved in the relations with our fellow beings by such feelings as sympathy, pride, hate, need for power, pity, and so on. All these primary impulses, not easily described in words, are the springs of man's actions. All such action would cease if those powerful elemental forces were to cease stirring within us. Though our conduct seems so very different from that of the higher animals, the primary instincts are much alike in them and in us. The most evident difference springs from the important part which is played in man by a relatively strong power of imagination and by the capacity to think, aided as it is by language and other symbolical devices. Thought is the organising factor in man, intersected between the causal primary instincts and the resulting actions. In that way imagination and intelligence enter into our existence in the part of servants of the primary instincts. But their intervention makes our acts to serve ever less merely the immediate claims of our instincts.”
Albert Einstein
Inteligent Lara!
I love Einstein very much. Do you know about Dolly? He would love Dolly very much. Thanks for the words of Einstein. I could not write today due to my hectic shedules..Do you know What I am doing now a days? For last one years I was living in a prostitue street. I was trying my level best to understand there life...I was in mood to write a novel about them. But suddenly I realsed that all my money had gone off...Now I am earning money....To me earning money is always an unpleasnt work. I want to write only...Very soon I will be in position to write continously...Due to my fanatic nature either I am kick off from the jobs or I leave the job. Earlier i have worked as newspapers reporters in different leading news paperes and electronic media. Wait for my professional life...I think it is too much interesting...But it is good to write about myslef? I am hesitating. I know all the leading personalitis of media house in India...
Waiting your words
Alok,
What a life you live. I'm so exhausted tonight I won't have time to write. But don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow.
Lara
I guess it might be wise not to publish information that might be damaging to your friends. You are the author, can't you disguise the identities? Like the yellow eyed girl, etc? Alok, you decided I'm just a reader you must create your own work. :)
Who else could write about you better than you? You might discover who you are. The journey inward is an interesting path.
Lara
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