by Alok nandna Dedicated to a Nightingale
4 October
''Oh, no! What I have done!'' With these words I woke up. I saw darkness was spreading all around me.'' Oh, it was a dream,'' I mumbled and closed my eyes. I tried to recall the dream and one after another all the characters and mysterious events started moving before my eyes. Earlier they are free to act, but now they are compelled to act. Some characters are running back to my unconscious but with closed eyes I chased them and bring forth. Now they are running before my eyes like a movie….. I am sitting on a running train, I went down on an un-known platform. Then entered into an old car, that is being driven by a prostitute…in fact I am not sure that she is a prostitute…I just feel that she is a prostitute…she drops me in a wedding ceremony…All the people of my village are present there….I am informed that one of my friends is going to marry with an un-known girl…An old friend of town comes to me and says,'' I have got an contract to develop your village …it is the paper…you must see..'' He handed over me some papers. When I see the papers …his elder brother comes with some people and ask me to return the papers…All my villagers are ready to fight as they do not want any outsiders to do construction work in their village…But I return the papers and request the villagers to calm down. A young man is reading a book of Indian mythology. I take it and try to find out the name of the book….but its first three pages are torn…This book seems interesting to me…All of sudden I realize that all my clothes are old…I meet the groom…I hate this groom most…He, too, is uncomfortable with me…Suddenly the groom changes into another person…I hate this person too…He says with a little surprise,'' What are you doing here? His younger comes to me and says, ''You are an unsuccessful person…You talk a lot but you have done nothing…'' When he goes away, I see her sister…she is collecting money from her friends…she is little fat …she says boldly,'' I know how to make people fools…She comes to me and indirectly she offers me, through her gesture, to make love with her…but I avoid her eyes and her body language…I feel I should have a nice bath…I goes to a tube well…and there I find one of my childhood friends whom I love most…He says ''Oh, you have come here…! People say that you are not my friend, really you are not my friend? They are wrong….you are my friend…you are my real friend…I can do anything for you…Both of us play with the water and enjoy the slippery ground. From top we start slipping…Oh, very fast we are slipping down …Both of us are taking each –other tightly…What a adventure! Full action!! we are laughing, little scaring and enjoying…when we come down on the ground we look each-other and starts ascending to the slippery plate…Now we are in the middle of it…All of sudden the old groom appears from upwards and very forcefully pushes us back…Both of us are trying to stop him, but due to our lower position on the slippery plate we are unable to stop him… Again very forcefully we are coming down…But at the last point, we throw him away…my friend is laughing…and I push him on the slippery ground…after slipping he fells down…I come to him with a hearty laugh …I see a flow of blood from his head…''Oh, no! What I have done!'' With these words I woke up.
I opened my eyes and mumbled, ''My only childhood friend has died!…Tonight he has come in my dream. Yes he has passed away…but not as child…but as young man who had a wife and a son.''
Now I tried to remember him. When he grew up, he became a peasant, an Indian peasant, an Indian farmer who would work hard in his field. After marriage he was separated by his father and given some parts of land. He worked hard but he was unable to feed his won family. Latter he became the father of a son. He had no other sources of income, but had to work hard in his own field. Poverty was eating his family. Latter he decided to go to Delhi in order to work in factories and took some money against his land. In Delhi he worked two years and lost his health. Whatever he earned in two years was spent over his treatment. Land had already eaten his soul and now Factory had eaten his body. Even his land was acquired by the local money lender. He tried hard to fight hard against the cruelty of life but lost his battle. In a state of frustration and despair, one day he burnt himself…it was an horrible death of an Indian farmer. You brutal policy makers of this nation! You all are responsible of his brutal death. Who bloody bastards tell that Indian is a country of farmer? Throw them away. Indian is not a country of Farmer but it the cauldron of farmer. All farmer of India go to hell ! What you are doing? Cheating and killing each-other and ! I recall my childhood friend passionately. I want to mention his name, yes I want to mention his name because symbolically his name is important. His name was Arjuna, not that Arjuna who fought the Mahabharata War under the guidance of Lord Krishana. Lord Krishana ! Come on the earth again as many Arjunaas are in a state of delusion. The trap is national debt, break this trap.
5 October
The lady Chattery's lover was very much happy today. When he entered into my Omen he said, ''Very interesting development! That lady has phoned me today. She is shifted in a nearby city and she has called me. Do you know, I am going to meet her today.''
''What are you saying?,'' I was surprised to listen him.
''Yes! I am going to meet her today. And I will stay there one week. It is her plan. Oh! she is an incredible lady, I love her, Yes! Yes!! I l love her,'' he said enthusiastically.
''I know you love her, but how she connected you?'' I asked.
''It was very simple. Earlier she had asked me for my landline number. Today she phoned me and said that she was waiting for me. In this city she was a recognized person. Now she wants to meet me freely. Oh! I am so happy. Now tell me what should I do?''
''You have already decided to go there!''
''Are you coming with me?''
''Me? No, no. You go there. I will wait for your coming.''
''Is not good to go there without you.''
''What do you mean?''
''In fact, I am fearful to go alone. So please come with me.''
''You know, you are doing a blunder. I am a man, too. May be I start loving her, in that situation a conflict will start between you and me.''
''You are joking. Here a lot of girls are your fans, and I know you are avoiding them, You cannot love a married woman like me.''
''I do not want more discussion over it, I am not coming with you.''
''Then I will not go alone,'' he proclaimed.
''You go to hell, I do not care.''
''Ok, I am going, but if I am killed there, you will be responsible.''
''No one will kill you, now you can go,'' I said roughly. When he went away, again I started thinking of that lady, that unseen lady whose departure had made me worry. What a character she is ! She will enjoy a new city with a young unmarried man. Oh, she is a lady with her libido! I love her, I love her, I love her.
6 October
''What do think about yourself ? I have been looking for you for long time, and you…Anyway, I want to say you something,'' the Muslim girl said me as soon as I entered into the library.
''For God sake do not tell me I love you. I am fade-up with these three words,'' I said, glancing at her face.
''You always bark like a dog. I have already told you that you are not my lover. You are just a good human being so why I want to talk to you. You know all the boys are ready to fell in love with me. But it is not issue. I want to discuss some problem with you.''
''I am a problem solving box ?,'' I said her with a smile.
''Do not bark… and come with me''
She was a tall girl, and unlike other tall Indian girls her boobs were healthy and she would cover them with a Chunari (an Indian clothes used to cover the upper parts of young girls). When she was sitting before me I glanced at her body, and she noticed it. Never forget woman has sixth sense.
''You devil mind! What are you watching?,'' She asked.
''Your body, really, it will make a man happy.''
''keep your mouth shut and listen me carefully. You know the place where I would sit in the class-room?, '' she asked, coming close to me, and I felt the scent of her attractive body. The scent of woman's body differs from woman to woman. Each woman has its won special scent.
''On the bench where I would sit, someone has made man's figure.''
''So what?''
''Oh! You do not understand….Some one has made a man private part…Did you get the point?''
''Let me understand….where you would sit, there someone has made a man organ, right?''
''Yes, your right.''
''It is erected or non-erected?''
''No issue.''
''Have you sit over it? ''
''After sitting on the bench, I saw it, fool!''
''Ok, Do you enjoy it?''
''You just shut up!''
''If you read lonely lady in the class room, certainly someone will try to fulfill your desire.'' I said, smelling her body.
''I want your help''
''Help! what help?''
''You just find out the name of the person who has done this, I will teach him a lesion,'' Her eyes were flaming when she was saying these words.
''Am the member of Gestapo ?''
''Gestapo! What is it?''
''It was a secret organization of Adolf Hitler. Members of this organization would report Hitler about everything and according this report Hitler would take action. You want me to play like the member of this organization? Sorry I cannot help you in this regard. I can just give you polite suggestion, do not read sexy book in the class-room or library.''
''You will not help me?,'' she became furious, and her white milky face turned into red and I enjoyed her angry face. For a little while I imagined her as yellowed eyed girl's position in my Omen, with this wild imagination I arose all of sudden. I was highly surprises with this new development in my body and mind. She was reading my changing face keenly, and she felt something was wrong with me.
''What happened ?,'' She asked, touching my hand, and with her touching a current spread al around my body. I felt strong desire hold her in my arms. I was completely out of my mind, I was unable to see anything; I was imagining about her naked soft milky body, but I did not say her anything; just kept my mouth shut.
''You know I always like you. You should help me in this regard. It is a mental offence. He must be punished,'' she was continued, still holding my hand in her both hands.
''It is too difficult to find out the culprit. If you say anything about it students will laugh over you,'' I suggested her.
''I do not care about there laughing. It is the matter of my honor. I will allow no one to let me down. I want to fight against this sexual harassment,'' she said emphatically. And was really surprised to see her sprit.
''Ok, I will help you. But I want to tell you something.'' I said.
''Do not tell I love you. I am fade with these three words, '' She said and laughed.
'' I am serious.''
''Then let me listen you.''
''Really, I love you.''
''You have gone mad.''
''Believe me,'' I said and pressed her hands, perhaps, first time she realized that she was holding my hand in her hands. She tried to take her back but I hold them tightly, even I used my both hands for this purpose. She looked straight to my eyes and said, ''Let me go.''
''I will wait for your words, '' I said.
''Do not wait. I tell you now,'' she said and stood up, I looked upward her face, waiting her words.
''No, no and no,'' she said and laughed.'' Take care I will meet you soon''
''You go to hell! I do not want to meet you.''
''I love your frustration, bye. Well, I have a good book for you.'' She opened her bag and gave me ''Far from the madding Crowd'' by Thomas Hardy and said,'' I think you will enjoy the devotion of the male protagonist of this book''
When she went away, I started reading the mind of Thomas Hardy.
Note : I am constantly struggle hard to read out more and more pages of the diary. Wait for more.
''Oh, no! What I have done!'' With these words I woke up. I saw darkness was spreading all around me.'' Oh, it was a dream,'' I mumbled and closed my eyes. I tried to recall the dream and one after another all the characters and mysterious events started moving before my eyes. Earlier they are free to act, but now they are compelled to act. Some characters are running back to my unconscious but with closed eyes I chased them and bring forth. Now they are running before my eyes like a movie….. I am sitting on a running train, I went down on an un-known platform. Then entered into an old car, that is being driven by a prostitute…in fact I am not sure that she is a prostitute…I just feel that she is a prostitute…she drops me in a wedding ceremony…All the people of my village are present there….I am informed that one of my friends is going to marry with an un-known girl…An old friend of town comes to me and says,'' I have got an contract to develop your village …it is the paper…you must see..'' He handed over me some papers. When I see the papers …his elder brother comes with some people and ask me to return the papers…All my villagers are ready to fight as they do not want any outsiders to do construction work in their village…But I return the papers and request the villagers to calm down. A young man is reading a book of Indian mythology. I take it and try to find out the name of the book….but its first three pages are torn…This book seems interesting to me…All of sudden I realize that all my clothes are old…I meet the groom…I hate this groom most…He, too, is uncomfortable with me…Suddenly the groom changes into another person…I hate this person too…He says with a little surprise,'' What are you doing here? His younger comes to me and says, ''You are an unsuccessful person…You talk a lot but you have done nothing…'' When he goes away, I see her sister…she is collecting money from her friends…she is little fat …she says boldly,'' I know how to make people fools…She comes to me and indirectly she offers me, through her gesture, to make love with her…but I avoid her eyes and her body language…I feel I should have a nice bath…I goes to a tube well…and there I find one of my childhood friends whom I love most…He says ''Oh, you have come here…! People say that you are not my friend, really you are not my friend? They are wrong….you are my friend…you are my real friend…I can do anything for you…Both of us play with the water and enjoy the slippery ground. From top we start slipping…Oh, very fast we are slipping down …Both of us are taking each –other tightly…What a adventure! Full action!! we are laughing, little scaring and enjoying…when we come down on the ground we look each-other and starts ascending to the slippery plate…Now we are in the middle of it…All of sudden the old groom appears from upwards and very forcefully pushes us back…Both of us are trying to stop him, but due to our lower position on the slippery plate we are unable to stop him… Again very forcefully we are coming down…But at the last point, we throw him away…my friend is laughing…and I push him on the slippery ground…after slipping he fells down…I come to him with a hearty laugh …I see a flow of blood from his head…''Oh, no! What I have done!'' With these words I woke up.
I opened my eyes and mumbled, ''My only childhood friend has died!…Tonight he has come in my dream. Yes he has passed away…but not as child…but as young man who had a wife and a son.''
Now I tried to remember him. When he grew up, he became a peasant, an Indian peasant, an Indian farmer who would work hard in his field. After marriage he was separated by his father and given some parts of land. He worked hard but he was unable to feed his won family. Latter he became the father of a son. He had no other sources of income, but had to work hard in his own field. Poverty was eating his family. Latter he decided to go to Delhi in order to work in factories and took some money against his land. In Delhi he worked two years and lost his health. Whatever he earned in two years was spent over his treatment. Land had already eaten his soul and now Factory had eaten his body. Even his land was acquired by the local money lender. He tried hard to fight hard against the cruelty of life but lost his battle. In a state of frustration and despair, one day he burnt himself…it was an horrible death of an Indian farmer. You brutal policy makers of this nation! You all are responsible of his brutal death. Who bloody bastards tell that Indian is a country of farmer? Throw them away. Indian is not a country of Farmer but it the cauldron of farmer. All farmer of India go to hell ! What you are doing? Cheating and killing each-other and ! I recall my childhood friend passionately. I want to mention his name, yes I want to mention his name because symbolically his name is important. His name was Arjuna, not that Arjuna who fought the Mahabharata War under the guidance of Lord Krishana. Lord Krishana ! Come on the earth again as many Arjunaas are in a state of delusion. The trap is national debt, break this trap.
5 October
The lady Chattery's lover was very much happy today. When he entered into my Omen he said, ''Very interesting development! That lady has phoned me today. She is shifted in a nearby city and she has called me. Do you know, I am going to meet her today.''
''What are you saying?,'' I was surprised to listen him.
''Yes! I am going to meet her today. And I will stay there one week. It is her plan. Oh! she is an incredible lady, I love her, Yes! Yes!! I l love her,'' he said enthusiastically.
''I know you love her, but how she connected you?'' I asked.
''It was very simple. Earlier she had asked me for my landline number. Today she phoned me and said that she was waiting for me. In this city she was a recognized person. Now she wants to meet me freely. Oh! I am so happy. Now tell me what should I do?''
''You have already decided to go there!''
''Are you coming with me?''
''Me? No, no. You go there. I will wait for your coming.''
''Is not good to go there without you.''
''What do you mean?''
''In fact, I am fearful to go alone. So please come with me.''
''You know, you are doing a blunder. I am a man, too. May be I start loving her, in that situation a conflict will start between you and me.''
''You are joking. Here a lot of girls are your fans, and I know you are avoiding them, You cannot love a married woman like me.''
''I do not want more discussion over it, I am not coming with you.''
''Then I will not go alone,'' he proclaimed.
''You go to hell, I do not care.''
''Ok, I am going, but if I am killed there, you will be responsible.''
''No one will kill you, now you can go,'' I said roughly. When he went away, again I started thinking of that lady, that unseen lady whose departure had made me worry. What a character she is ! She will enjoy a new city with a young unmarried man. Oh, she is a lady with her libido! I love her, I love her, I love her.
6 October
''What do think about yourself ? I have been looking for you for long time, and you…Anyway, I want to say you something,'' the Muslim girl said me as soon as I entered into the library.
''For God sake do not tell me I love you. I am fade-up with these three words,'' I said, glancing at her face.
''You always bark like a dog. I have already told you that you are not my lover. You are just a good human being so why I want to talk to you. You know all the boys are ready to fell in love with me. But it is not issue. I want to discuss some problem with you.''
''I am a problem solving box ?,'' I said her with a smile.
''Do not bark… and come with me''
She was a tall girl, and unlike other tall Indian girls her boobs were healthy and she would cover them with a Chunari (an Indian clothes used to cover the upper parts of young girls). When she was sitting before me I glanced at her body, and she noticed it. Never forget woman has sixth sense.
''You devil mind! What are you watching?,'' She asked.
''Your body, really, it will make a man happy.''
''keep your mouth shut and listen me carefully. You know the place where I would sit in the class-room?, '' she asked, coming close to me, and I felt the scent of her attractive body. The scent of woman's body differs from woman to woman. Each woman has its won special scent.
''On the bench where I would sit, someone has made man's figure.''
''So what?''
''Oh! You do not understand….Some one has made a man private part…Did you get the point?''
''Let me understand….where you would sit, there someone has made a man organ, right?''
''Yes, your right.''
''It is erected or non-erected?''
''No issue.''
''Have you sit over it? ''
''After sitting on the bench, I saw it, fool!''
''Ok, Do you enjoy it?''
''You just shut up!''
''If you read lonely lady in the class room, certainly someone will try to fulfill your desire.'' I said, smelling her body.
''I want your help''
''Help! what help?''
''You just find out the name of the person who has done this, I will teach him a lesion,'' Her eyes were flaming when she was saying these words.
''Am the member of Gestapo ?''
''Gestapo! What is it?''
''It was a secret organization of Adolf Hitler. Members of this organization would report Hitler about everything and according this report Hitler would take action. You want me to play like the member of this organization? Sorry I cannot help you in this regard. I can just give you polite suggestion, do not read sexy book in the class-room or library.''
''You will not help me?,'' she became furious, and her white milky face turned into red and I enjoyed her angry face. For a little while I imagined her as yellowed eyed girl's position in my Omen, with this wild imagination I arose all of sudden. I was highly surprises with this new development in my body and mind. She was reading my changing face keenly, and she felt something was wrong with me.
''What happened ?,'' She asked, touching my hand, and with her touching a current spread al around my body. I felt strong desire hold her in my arms. I was completely out of my mind, I was unable to see anything; I was imagining about her naked soft milky body, but I did not say her anything; just kept my mouth shut.
''You know I always like you. You should help me in this regard. It is a mental offence. He must be punished,'' she was continued, still holding my hand in her both hands.
''It is too difficult to find out the culprit. If you say anything about it students will laugh over you,'' I suggested her.
''I do not care about there laughing. It is the matter of my honor. I will allow no one to let me down. I want to fight against this sexual harassment,'' she said emphatically. And was really surprised to see her sprit.
''Ok, I will help you. But I want to tell you something.'' I said.
''Do not tell I love you. I am fade with these three words, '' She said and laughed.
'' I am serious.''
''Then let me listen you.''
''Really, I love you.''
''You have gone mad.''
''Believe me,'' I said and pressed her hands, perhaps, first time she realized that she was holding my hand in her hands. She tried to take her back but I hold them tightly, even I used my both hands for this purpose. She looked straight to my eyes and said, ''Let me go.''
''I will wait for your words, '' I said.
''Do not wait. I tell you now,'' she said and stood up, I looked upward her face, waiting her words.
''No, no and no,'' she said and laughed.'' Take care I will meet you soon''
''You go to hell! I do not want to meet you.''
''I love your frustration, bye. Well, I have a good book for you.'' She opened her bag and gave me ''Far from the madding Crowd'' by Thomas Hardy and said,'' I think you will enjoy the devotion of the male protagonist of this book''
When she went away, I started reading the mind of Thomas Hardy.
Note : I am constantly struggle hard to read out more and more pages of the diary. Wait for more.
2 comments:
Alok,
I'm traveling today. I don't have time to read until late tonight. But I am doing some drawings. I'll share them too. Looks like a new tempting piece of work.
Lara
Trevelling Lara!
Where you were traveling ? Some good natural spots, I would love to knwo about the places where you have been today...What have you eaten ? Ice reaam? In Indian people love ice-cream. Now the mango seasons are going her....Today I tasted the fisrt seans fruit, I mean a mango...In local dialectic it is called ''Hapus'', specially found
in konkan, where you will get a lot of gardens of mangoes....Some where in India it is called Maldah, Dashari etc....Through smell I can says whati kind of mango is. Each mango has here its own smell and taste....I love ice-creame too much....
sometimes you write dramatically, I mean very fast....
alok nandan
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